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NOTE * Stevo is a character from a movie called SLC Punk who, in my opinion, sold out. ~Noah
Noah Desclian:
I need to tell more people what I think.
I have to explain to more people what I need to do. I need
to tell people that this civilization isn't the only one. I need to get more
people like me together. Tom, are you in
this for the long haul? Cause I am. I'm not stopping, no matter what.
HitlerBadTomGood: i am willing
Noah Desclian: Are you serious? You sound like you're getting tired of it
HitlerBadTomGood:
why do you say that?
HitlerBadTomGood:
i am just literally tired
Noah Desclian: You told me tonight that everything was getting a little "old" You seem like Stevo.
HitlerBadTomGood: i mean, it's true
Noah Desclian: what is?
HitlerBadTomGood:
sometimes i ponder
HitlerBadTomGood:
if what i am doing....how
long will it last?
HitlerBadTomGood:
i have intentions to keep
this going
HitlerBadTomGood:
but i have more importnat
things now on my mind
Noah Desclian: like?
HitlerBadTomGood:
more, literal physical things
HitlerBadTomGood:
like job
HitlerBadTomGood:
like college
HitlerBadTomGood:
like money
HitlerBadTomGood:
like grades
Noah Desclian: fuck them Tom, they mean nothing
HitlerBadTomGood:
but honestly, how do you
plan to make a living?
HitlerBadTomGood:
it's easy to say fuck them
HitlerBadTomGood:
but what will you do in the
meantime before your dreams become reality?
HitlerBadTomGood:
i'm not saying it is an impossible
feat
Noah Desclian: You're scared aren't you?
HitlerBadTomGood:
i'm saying that it will take
time, and i need to live for that time
HitlerBadTomGood:
i am not scared
HitlerBadTomGood:
i have nothing to be scared
of
HitlerBadTomGood:
i'm stating a realistic sitation
Noah Desclian: Then why hold back?
HitlerBadTomGood: for the reason stated above
Noah Desclian:
Fuck reality Tom! That's what society wants
you to do! They want you to say, "Hey! I can't get
by with just my wits and my dreams. My dreams are crap and they mean NOTHING
AT ALL! I'll just integrate
myself into society and become another ant working for the queen." And you're
falling into that hole.
HitlerBadTomGood:
hey noah, when you graduate
high school, what do you plan on doing?
HitlerBadTomGood:
you told me yourself you
wanna go to rutgers
HitlerBadTomGood:
right?
Noah Desclian: yeah I do.
HitlerBadTomGood:
no, you said you'll most
likely end up at rutgers
HitlerBadTomGood:
right?
Noah Desclian: well yeah, that's more like it
HitlerBadTomGood:
so how're you gonna pay for
that?
HitlerBadTomGood:
you are in the same situation
as me
Noah Desclian:
oh don't shit on my with this crap! Yeah,
my parents are paying for my education, is that what you
want me to say?
HitlerBadTomGood:
but when the time comes,
i'll have a few thousand
HitlerBadTomGood:
no, but when the time comes,
you will still be saying the same thing you are saying
now
Noah Desclian:
So I'm not placing myself in debt and falling
deeper into poverty when I can easily use what my
parents sweated for so that they could do something nice for me.
Noah Desclian:
My parents worked their asses off for that
so that they could put their child into a good college and
so that he could get out without a debt, okay?
HitlerBadTomGood:
dude, as long as you get
thru college, i don't care
HitlerBadTomGood:
but
HitlerBadTomGood:
a future is something that
we need in just a few months
Noah Desclian: a future is something that we need for our children when we die
HitlerBadTomGood:
how can i chase something
that could take so long to accomplish? before it is
accomplished, i need something to give me money, i need a way of paying expenses,
i need a way to
put food in my mouth
HitlerBadTomGood:
therefore, at the current
moment, i am more concerned with that stuff
Noah Desclian:
And you need food for your soul. You'll
end up fallin in line with all the other ants by the time
you're done!
Noah Desclian:
I'm more concerned with my future kids'
futures than of mine.
HitlerBadTomGood: ok noah, so tell me what you're trying to say?
Noah Desclian: You don't want to save the world.
HitlerBadTomGood: fuck college? fuck work? fuck money?
Noah Desclian: Sure, if it helps out other people
HitlerBadTomGood:
the true life of an anarchist
HitlerBadTomGood:
but not real anarchy
Noah Desclian: heh, of course, but you will lose if you fight the way you fight.
HitlerBadTomGood: ok, so say i dedicate everything to the cause right now
Noah Desclian: So you say
HitlerBadTomGood: what will happen when next september comes?
Noah Desclian: You'll go to school
HitlerBadTomGood:
where am i gonna be?
HitlerBadTomGood:
hwo am I gonna put myself
thru school?
Noah Desclian:
in school, learning a trade
Noah Desclian:
by working, of course
HitlerBadTomGood: yes, and working produces what?
Noah Desclian: death
HitlerBadTomGood: no, money
Noah Desclian:
no, death.
Noah Desclian:
money is death
HitlerBadTomGood: am i dead yet?
Noah Desclian: almost
HitlerBadTomGood:
but money is gonna put me
thru school
HitlerBadTomGood:
i need to concern myself
with that now
HitlerBadTomGood:
so i have money for next
september
Noah Desclian:
And money will make you wish you had more
and will make you buy stuff and will make you a
consumer and will make you get a better job and will make you forget about all
the dreams that you once had
HitlerBadTomGood:
not necessarily. that is
in the heart of the "consumer:
HitlerBadTomGood:
"
Noah Desclian:
Damn it Tom, you know that if you get into
society, you'll just be up to the ears with anxiety and
hate and anger and you'll never find love and happiness and serenity! You know
this!
Noah Desclian:
And yet you still go into it! Why!?
HitlerBadTomGood:
am i part of society now?
HitlerBadTomGood:
today, did you say i'm a
part of society?
Noah Desclian:
nope, but you will be.
Noah Desclian:
I thought you weren't
HitlerBadTomGood: yet, i was able to pay for your drink
Noah Desclian: Yeah you did
HitlerBadTomGood:
shunned from society, still
able to pay for your drink
HitlerBadTomGood:
so..
HitlerBadTomGood:
shunned from society, still
able to pay for college
HitlerBadTomGood:
hearing you say that your
parents are gonna pay for your education makes you
sound somewhat part of society, than me working 35 hours a week so i can save
my parents, the
people in my fifth class defined today, save them hardship
HitlerBadTomGood:
therefore, i can say i am
saving society and saving a part of the world
Noah Desclian:
So you're saying that my parents sacrificing
their pay checks so that their loved ones can get an
education has no honor?
HitlerBadTomGood:
it has great honor, but i
think saving your parents from doing that, for the 18 years
that they sheltered you, for the 18 years they fed you, drove you, cared for
you has even more honor
Noah Desclian: So I should say, "No thanks, I'll be in debt for the rest of my life"
HitlerBadTomGood: how will you be in debt?
Noah Desclian: I'll have to borrow gobs of money to get through college
HitlerBadTomGood:
hehe, i'm in the same position
as you, but i will have the money saved up by next
september
HitlerBadTomGood:
if you think of it only as
being in debt, and your parents will pay your way, you
might as well quit your job
HitlerBadTomGood:
it's no use because your
parents will pay for it with their sweat and hardships
HitlerBadTomGood:
and you told me you fight
for the hard workers in society
Noah Desclian: yeah I do
HitlerBadTomGood:
but in this case, it seems
your using them, and then chasing this dream which won't
become reality for a while
HitlerBadTomGood:
until it becomes reality
tho...
HitlerBadTomGood:
you NEED a job
HitlerBadTomGood:
you NEED money
HitlerBadTomGood:
you NEED to go thru college
HitlerBadTomGood:
it's sorta like using the
system to destroy the system
Noah Desclian:
of course I need one, but I don't need a
job that'll drain me of my life fluids like a corporate job or
an office job.
Noah Desclian:
I'll write, I'll photograph, I'll heal,
I'll help.
Noah Desclian:
That's how I'll get by
HitlerBadTomGood:
ok, then quit your current
job, and do that
HitlerBadTomGood:
why not do that?
Noah Desclian: I'm still young, I suppose. My skills haven't developed yet.
HitlerBadTomGood: oh well
Noah Desclian:
I'm not saying that I won't get a job and
that I won't get to college and get through it. I will. I'm
saying that YOU aren't going to try to save the world like I will.
HitlerBadTomGood: so in conclusion....tell me what you wanna say
Noah Desclian: That is what I'm saying. I am challenging your honor.
HitlerBadTomGood:
you think so?
HitlerBadTomGood:
you are denying me?
Noah Desclian:
I'm telling you that you have no honor and
that all this is for show, that you're just saying that you
want to save the world, but you don't really do, it's just something to DREAM
about.
HitlerBadTomGood:
all my beliefs? and you think
that i'm throwing it all away based upon an
unconcluded conclusion?
Noah Desclian: IU think you have no intention of saving the world, but that you only want to dream of it.
HitlerBadTomGood:
ok then....
HitlerBadTomGood:
tell me how?
HitlerBadTomGood:
i am your student
Noah Desclian: OF course Tom. As you say, but I'm just asking you....is it a dream, or is it something more.
HitlerBadTomGood:
i am supposed to be learning
from you, and you are not showing me how to save
the world
Noah Desclian:
Are you just saying this to make youself
feel better or do you want it so much that you can taste it
Noah Desclian:
You have to have the soul first.
Noah Desclian:
I can't teach that.
Noah Desclian:
No one can
HitlerBadTomGood:
ok noah, if you don't think
i have it in me, if you think i am not serious, then i don't
want a part in it. i should just go throw everything away and buy some gap clothes
Noah Desclian: No, I think you should ask yourself if you really have it in you, because I don't see it. That's all.
HitlerBadTomGood:
haha, i ask myself that question
every morning when i put on my clothes
HitlerBadTomGood:
every day when i pop in a
punk cd in my car
HitlerBadTomGood:
every day when i get into
an argument
Noah Desclian:
and what do you say?
Noah Desclian:
what is your answer?
HitlerBadTomGood: i WANT to reform society
Noah Desclian: I don't know about that. You told me that it's all getting old, just like Stevo said
HitlerBadTomGood:
and i am faced with that
problem
HitlerBadTomGood:
i ask myself that a lot also
HitlerBadTomGood:
you know why?
Noah Desclian: why
HitlerBadTomGood: read the whole conversation and you'll know why
Noah Desclian: Because you are scared that you'll not have any money or will die and rot on the streets if you fail
HitlerBadTomGood:
i'm going to sleep now
HitlerBadTomGood:
we'll continue this another
day
HitlerBadTomGood:
i mean...
Noah Desclian: fine
HitlerBadTomGood:
we WILL continue this
HitlerBadTomGood:
night
Noah Desclian: night